bored.

My first day outfield was fantastically sad. Crushed a CVC wire which most prolly requires a statement if i manage to escape 1206. had lotsa fun charging, stripping and assembling the MK 44. most of this was done under the supervision of OC, who probably thinks that im pretty hopeless by now, considering that i cant charge the rounds too well and crushed the damn CVC. heard he's v demanding, how can i go outfield like that? mor training is definitely the order of the day. and i forgot to settle some administrative procedures before booking out. thankfully jian an is the COS today or i'd prolly have to pay dearly. and i still haven got my cupboard yet. hope i dun get evicted from my bunk cos im kinda settled there. strange. settling in is nvr easy.

Went to Ubin today, and ive not been there before. changi village is a nice place, shld spend some time exploring thhe area next time. was a bit reluctant at first but the bumboat ride was surprisingly refreshing. it was fun to see the waves and the silhouette of the islands in the distance, like in FFIX. got to cycle round the island, and thankfully clumsy me didnt fall off the bike despite not having cycled for a long time. the place felt very peaceful and tranquil but there were tooo many visitors, mainly foreigners, crowding the place. but it felt nothing like mainland singapore. simply amazing. thankfully the authorities didnt develop high rise buildings over there. hehe. rushing this entry cos i have to go book in. IRRITATING>..

42 SAR lion coy OCVC. doesnt sound too bad other than the fact that it's not HQ coy but rather HQ plt. so most of my work will come from HQ coy. irritating. at least one of the drivers is wai lreng and perhaps they will jus switch him to become OC's driver. yay.... now that we are in different companies it's jus got a little sad, after all it's 20 weeks. dun really noe the course 2 ppl yet and the tankees are always sticking together in threes. wonderful threesomes. we may be in the same unit and camp, blahblahblah but being me, i dun noe. hehe. life's always like that isnt it.

I am feeling so jaded with life, with NS. there's really NOTHING to look forward to anymore, no excitement in life. absolut monotony. perhaps it's time to do a 180-flip and try something new.

I have been posted to 42 SAR, finally as a specialist... horror of horrors. but this week has been pretty good actually, compared to the guys in 41, who have been washing toilets and setting BMR for a new veh commissioning. hmm. and they have disgusting fast marches planned for next week. still, im completely envious of kenneth and yen chin who got into S3. hope i can go to be asst ops spec too. sighz* so i have to appreciate the 3 runs that i went for this wk, with 3 nights out and nothing to do at all on fri(actually since 1530 on thurs). hooray. and next wk im going to suffer a premature demise at the SOC grounds or ippt route. how am i possibly going to attempt any of these when i have not been training at all for how long? i cant remember. so much for training prevents sports injuries. certainly BUC is more impt than HR. oh well. and i miss the ppl who got sent to 41 alr. this is not happening but yeah i thot the period in aisl was a pretty good time albeit a little too long. i am very daunted and a little excited at what is going to happen. like how im going to fail all my SOCs and have men under me. haha what exactly is happening...hmm

Singapore Dreaming was fantastic. and i agree that the actresses were fabulous but the actors could have their roles more developed. lim yu beng was more of fretting over breadnbutter than over the apparent mid-life crisis. richard low came to an early demise and the son called seng(cant remember his name) only truly became a wastrel towards the end of the show. it was clearly much better than any of the local productions that we have seen so far. ok perhaps im biased against the other films (or not seen all of them) but this one was full of local flavour.

All the sights and sounds of everything that we take for granted: the activity at the kopitiams and along the MRT stations, and in the stressful workplace. Everything was depicted exactly as we see it in real life and it is just amazing to know that things so ordinary could lend the movie such authenticity. It was and even replete with all the correct social bias - the family, gender discrimination, sibling rivalry, elitism in school and society, the rat race and the 5 'C's, the concept of 'face', how we treat our maids and other people, mid-life crises and the list goes on. The only gripe i have abt the show is how pathetic every character is and how coincidentally are part of this woe-ridden family. Everyone is laden with so much responsibility and holds so much anticpation, which often turns into disappointment and even despair as a whole slew of lies and ugly truths get exposed with the loss of a loved one. Do we want our lives to be like that? Even though there was minimal involvment of the other races (i guess it would be too contrived and NE to make it multi-racial), it still turned out to be a very poignant piece of work that im sure many can easily relate to. it's almost as if we are watching our lives go on in a movie.

Which group do we belong to - the one that sells out their dreams for bread and butter or the one that does something they dislike in order to finance their dreams? If the portrayal of the characters in the show is true of the average singaporean, then i must count my lucky stars. perhaps it's the tried-and-tested system of success that we are forcing on the next generation that is responsible for the sterile reputation that we have as a nation. what would it be like if everyone is allowed and even encouraged to puruse their dreams and not forced to conform to a one-size-fits-all system? Then perhaps we'd have more world-class musicians, designers, sportsmen and artistes and become a truly global city. and what exactly is the opportunity cost for that?

Tmr im going back for my posting order. im going to miss alot of ppl in the course. roc has made me see appreciate each and everyone's presence. and even as much as i dun want to leave ati, i guess my chances there are close to zero. hopefully i get to be int. or ops. spec but it's like one in a million. AISL Dreaming, anyone?