it had been a hectic 2 months, with no nights and no days. only work, 14 hours a day and counting, wkends included. it had been a rewarding experience nonetheless but everything should be taken in moderation. met many new people in a short span of 2 months - funny thing is everyone had their strengths but everyone else seemed to be focusing on the other meaningless things. so weird, working relations. im sure they are just too adult to admit it. :) i wanted to test my limits and i got it - the endless late nights in NS paid off, having survived a 7-day workweek totaling 82.5 hrs and continuing the following week with equal amounts of man-hours. i think i need some pain to feel alive, some sort of fatal attraction to such...torturous jobs? and at the end of it i didnt feel relief or jubilation but just...confusion. "it's over?" i complain about work so much but i feel equally lost without something to do. Thus, this break wont last too long as before long i will be too bored. Michael Pollan said in "The Botany of Desire" that boredom arises not because of a lack of things to do but because of the human mind's protective mechanism against wonder. imagine feeling the same sense of wonder everytime you do something, as if each time was your first time. i think it would overwhelm but then perhaps it would rid the world of boredom. and that, is mankind's fascination with intoxication.

i like the feeling of suddenly putting an end to the adrenaline rush. of being able to lie on my back, damp shirt plastered against my back and the hard wooden bench. and watch the leaves of the rain tree jiggling against the vast, endless sky and feeling the cool breeze swirling on my flushed cheeks. and sensing the changing intensity of sunlight due to passing clouds, losing the notion of time as it got replaced with a gradually slowing heartbeat. i wish i could be lost in that forever but that is a luxury best left in novels and fairy tales.




Happy CNY to one and all! As we celebrate the many Christmases, New Years and Lunar New Years, and flood the network with endless SMSs (even though i dont have a habit of doing so), i'd like to take some time off to remember the many wonderful people that ive met in the past donkey years. and it is the beginning of the end of humankind as we know it??? (what did i just write?)