i went to the western end of the island today. passing by Kranji reminded me of booking into camp with jianan, eric and wx. going to JP reminded me of the many nights out from AISL to 42. it was also mindboggling how much it had changed in a short period of 8 mths, together with many other places like Bugis, Northpoint, Orchard, even Yew Tee. next time i shld visit the east. heard that there's a 3rd mall in tampines. oh the significance of malls to singaporeans.

and then i was thinking of the usual nights out stuff we'd do: 1) eat fast food 2) get bubble tea 3) go to one of the games arcade 4) visit NTUC to restock 5) head back to camp. all the other work during the day can be simply reduced into 2 forms: PT and saigang. life was ok; it was simple. you could almost say like clockwork, routine. and as i think of all these new developments, i somehow felt shortchanged. but then again, if all these stuff were available back then, somehow i think it wouldnt have changed things very much. this business of reconciling the past and present is getting to me and yet i still clamour for more. just what is it about this thing called nostalgia? or is there something worth reliving, or is there just some regret that im consciously unaware of? regardless, it is this act of looking back and wondering of what things have become/could have been, in hindsight no less. such a wonderfully helpless feeling. every time i go to a place and images just invade my mind. and u know that there is no way to go but forward.

and then we drove out of the new jp, past ntu, right onto the emergency runway outside LCK Camp and tengah airbase. i was reminded of the time wx and i took a cab from home to report to SGC for the first time and the many times i took the bus on that route. Strangely, there was no stench of chicken detritus. We went all the way past SAF Armour Centre, turned into neo tiew road, got onto kranji dam and out of the wilderness that remains in Singapore. and i was not in the usual attire of collared tee with jeans and shoes, backpack full of laundry.

i dont think i want to deal with much more of such moving on. but then, time just leaves me behind as everyone else just forges ahead. and this is life as i know it. Life's a bitch, deal with it.